Veranda Tales-Being fully present
Storytelling has been an integral part of my life since childhood. I grew up listening to stories during the hot summer evenings and nights with my cousins. Mothers and grandmothers would gather all of us children for story time. It was usually pitch dark except for a very faint light coming from the flickering candle. Power cuts were as frequent as the hot and humid summer days. We all spread out on a cool concrete floor or bamboo mats on the veranda intently listening to fascinating stories about kings, queens, princes, princesses, and peasants alike. Stories about love, life, families, and people entertained and taught us life skills. These stories transported us to distant worlds, strange yet familiar. Often the same story told by two people sounded different as storytellers added new twists and turns adding their personal style and flair to the stories.
Storytelling wasn’t limited to summer evenings and bedtime. I was surrounded by adults who didn’t pass up an opportunity to share their wisdom using the art of storytelling. These rich vibrant oral traditions include songs, poems, stories, and సామెతలు (Sametalu are proverbs in Telugu). Men and women sing songs as they work in the fields, grinding grains and spices and doing other daily chores at their homes. Stories are often used to teach important life lessons, interpersonal skills, and survival skills. These stories and the time spent listening to them made our lives richer leaving an impression on me. This series is all about reliving those memories as I share these stories.
చూపులు దేవుని మీద చిత్తం బయట వదిలిన చెప్పుల మీద (chupulu devuni meeda chittam bayata vadilina cheppula meeda)
When people go to a temple in India, they leave shoes outside. Some temples have shoe racks outside the main temple building for people to leave their shoes before entering the temple. Others have a designated or social shoe area where everybody leaves them as they step into the temple. It is a common practice to take shoes off at the door when visiting someone’s home. It is considered rude to enter a house with shoes on. Hosts will remind you to leave shoes at the door. Some stores require customers to take their shoes off before entering the store. This is totally opposite from the signs we see in the USA and other western countries that say, “No shirt, no shoes, no service”. In India it is more like, “Shoes, no service, we don’t care if you have a shirt on or not”.
If you are passing by a temple, you are bound to see several pairs of shoes in all sizes, shapes, styles, and colors left outside by people who are offering their prayers inside. This sameta means, “looking at the god or goddess while thinking about your shoes you left outside”. It is possible when you come out of the temple or the store, you might not find your shoes. Someone might have walked away in your shoes by mistake. Shoes could go missing magically when someone takes fancy to your shoes. Someone might decide it is a good place to find shoes they can take with them to sell to make a living. Because of all of these important reasons, people are nervous when they leave their shoes outside before they go into a temple. They could be going through the motions of offering flowers, taking ప్రసాదం (prasadam is sacred or blessed food in Telugu or Sanskrit), తీర్థం (theertham is holy water), and ఆరతి (arati) offered by the పూజారి (poojari is priest in Telugu) at the temple while their minds are on the shoes they left outside.
People are equally nervous when they leave their shoes outside a store. They would be looking at sarees or dresses at the store as they worry about someone walking away in their shoes. Shopping for sarees in India is an experience in itself. If you ever visited Indian stores in Jackson Heights, a neighborhood in the northwestern part of the borough of Queens in New York City, you get what I am talking about.
As I write this story, my mind wanders to the times I went saree shopping with అమ్మ (Amma is mother in Telugu). The saree shops in India are usually small one room stores with stacks of sarees overflowing and falling out of wall to wall and floor to ceiling cabinets all around the room. There are piles of sarees wherever you look. Salespersons would be seated cross legged on rugs or carpets showing sarees to their customers sitting cross legged in front of them. They keep showing one saree after another, bringing the sarees down from the cabinets and spread them out as customers touch the fabric and pass the fabric between their fingers to check the weave, durability and how it feels to the touch.
Customers, usually women, check one saree after another for their color, quality, examining the bottom border and the showy right end of the saree which is called pallu. Pallu is the most important for people as it highlights and showcases the beauty of the saree as it drapes over the right or left shoulder when the saree is worn. You can enjoy the beauty of the saree and the woman wearing it, as she comes walking towards you and walking away from you. Sarees are in myriads of colors. It is amazing to see how many colors can be made from the limited number of primary colors. In America, the only choice of colors for clothing are navy blue, black, white, maybe an occasional shade of red. Compared to this, stepping into an Indian clothing store will transport you from black and white or sepia yet best to a multi-colored heaven.
Once the saree is picked, people buy a matching blouse. Some sarees include blouse pieces woven at one end of it, ready to be separated from the saree and stitched into a blouse. Matching blouse doesn't mean it matches the color of a saree. It could be the exact same color or it can be a contrasting color. In some cases it matches the pattern of the saree or its border or its pallu. The styles keep changing constantly as often as once or twice a year. Constantly changing styles keeps people who visit India once in a few years on their toes. You never know what to expect and what to wear to keep up with the current style.
After buying sarees, the next stop is a tailoring place. Usually there used to be several tailoring shops in the same area or one which was associated with the saree shop itself. Commercial tailors were men when I was growing up. Women tailors ran their businesses from the comfort of their homes and customers would stop by to leave their garments for stitching. All these vibrant and colorful memories are flooding back into my mind. I am sure my mind was wandering and these memories are only a fraction of what I could have retained if only I lived in the moment at that time.
This sameta has a deeper meaning than the mundane fear of losing shoes at a temple or at a store. It is about being in the moment and enjoying it and life to the fullest. As I watch the beautiful pink and red hues of peaceful morning light, I remind myself to leave the pressures of the day ahead of me to enjoy the moment of beauty. As I go about living life, I keep reminding myself of the value of savoring and living each moment of my life to the fullest.
It is a struggle at times to decide whether to capture the clouds floating above majestic mountains, or the mist rising from a waterfall as the water gushes down or simply gaze at the beauty in peace. Do you watch your child take the first step with your own eyes or through the video camera lens? Life is full of difficult choices. It is important to make the right choices to form lasting memories.
I experimented with Transcendental Meditation for a year or two during my college years . The center was very close to the dorm I was living in at the time. I would go there with friends to learn the Transcendental Meditation technique. I found it challenging to clear my mind of random thoughts as I tried to meditate. My energy was focused more on fighting the thoughts flowing in and out of my mind.
Several years later, I started practicing yoga. During the first couple of months, I recognized and learned that దృష్టి (drishti is focused gaze in Sanskrit and Telugu) is the key to staying upright while holding a tree pose. Holding a pose while thinking about what to eat after the yoga practice is a recipe for disastrous falls. As kept at it, I found myself improving my focus and two minute holds started to feel like two second hods. I wish I could say the same about a minute-long plank hold. I am working on it. If you ever practiced Yin yoga with long two or four minute holds in pigeon pose, you know what I am talking about. The first few Yin practices were very difficult for me. I kept thinking to myself that the time just stopped or the instructor left the room leaving us in this pose forever and ever. It has gotten a lot easier as I kept working at it. I am no longer on pins and needles waiting for the instructor to say, “you can come out of the pose now”. As our people’s poet Vemana so wisely said, bitter neem leaves will start to taste sweet as you keep eating them.
This sameta reminds us of the importance of being present in the moment while enjoying a cup of coffee, chatting with a loved one, or shopping for groceries. Being fully present without giving into distractions, both external and internal can be valuable for building strong and fulfilling relationships and experiences.