Veranda Tales-An exemplary friendship

Storytelling has been an integral part of my life since childhood. I grew up listening to stories during the hot summer evenings and nights with my cousins. Mothers and grandmothers would gather all of us children for story time. It was usually pitch dark except for a very faint light coming from the flickering candle. Power cuts were as frequent as the hot and humid summer days. We all spread out on a cool concrete floor or bamboo mats on the veranda intently listening to fascinating stories about kings, queens, princes, princesses, and peasants alike. Stories about love, life, families, and people entertained and taught us life skills. These stories transported us to distant worlds, strange yet familiar. Often the same story told by two people sounded different as storytellers added new twists and turns adding their personal style and flair to the stories.

Storytelling wasn’t limited to summer evenings and bedtime. I was surrounded by adults who didn’t pass up an opportunity to share their wisdom using the art of storytelling. These rich vibrant oral traditions include songs, poems, stories, and సామెతలు (Sametalu are proverbs in Telugu). Men and women sing songs as they work in the fields, grinding grains and spices and doing other daily chores at their homes. Stories are often used to teach important life lessons, interpersonal skills, and survival skills. These stories and the time spent listening to them made our lives richer leaving an impression on me. This series is all about reliving those memories as I share these stories.

కుచేల సంతానంలాగా (Kuchela santhanam laaga)

My paternal grandparents had a total of nine children and eight of them survived into adulthood. My maternal grandparents had a total of eight children and seven of them survived into adulthood. They didn’t have choices, unlike their children. I was born during the early years of the “Ham do, hamare do (We are two and we have two)” Indian Family Planning Campaign. My father and his siblings followed the policy strictly and had just two children each except for one aunt who had three. My father worked for the Government and he benefited from the incentives he got for having just two children. My parents held the line at two daughters resisting the pressure to produce a son. They laughed it off when they heard comments from their friends about how they had two minuses and they should have at least one son to offset. A girl was considered a negative asset in those days and probably even today.

I had a few friends who had more than two siblings, but in general families around me followed the “Ham do, hamare do” policy voluntarily. They liked the incentives perhaps and found it easier to raise fewer children unlike their parents' generation. One exception was my father’s friend who had children ranging from 15 years to a toddler, a total of seven or eight. My father used to joke about his friend’s కుచేల సంతానం (kuchela santhanam) comparing his friend to కుచేల (Kuchela) from మహాభారత (Mahabharata). కుచేల సంతానం (Kuchela santhanam) means, “Kuchela’s children” and refers to కుచేల (Kuchela) and his large brood.

కుచేల (Kuchela), also known as సుదామ (Sudama), was a friend of కృష్ణ (Krishna), a Hindu deity. కుచేల (Kuchela) and కృష్ణ (Krishna) were childhood friends and classmates. They both studied under the tutelage of Sandipani and lived at his ashram. కుచేల (Kuchela) was a son of a poor Brahmin whereas కృష్ణ (Krishna) was from a royal family of Yaduvamsha lineage. They were treated equally by Sandipani when they were his students and lived at his ashram. They were asked to do chores such as foraging for firewood from the forest. When they both completed their education, కుచేల (Kuchela) returned to his village and కృష్ణ (Krishna) went back to Dvaraka.

As years went by, కుచేల (Kuchela) stayed humble family man living in poverty with his wife and with several children. కృష్ణ (Krishna) became ruler of Dvaraka and the Yadava clan. He was an influential man, advisor to Pandava and Kaurava and revered by both. కుచేల (Kuchela)’s wife, Susheela asked him to go to Dvaraka to seek help from his friend, కృష్ణ (Krishna). కుచేల (Kuchela) reluctantly agreed and asked his wife if she could give him something to take with with him as a gift to his friend. Susheela managed to find four handfuls of అటుకులు (atukulu is Flattened rice in Telugu).

కుచేల (Kuchela) entered Dvaraka, a city of many gates, and was amazed by its beauty and opulence of its streets and buildings. He wandered through the streets mustering courage to approach the palace. He was humbled and wasn’t sure if his friend కృష్ణ (Krishna) would remember him and even if he did whether he would grant an audience. He entered the palace and escorted to కృష్ణ (Krishna) resting on a couch with his queen, Rukmini. కృష్ణ (Krishna) was overjoyed to his friend కుచేల (Kuchela). He immediately got out of his seat to welcome his friend and so did Rukmini. He offered his own seat to his friend. He summoned his servants to bring water and a platter. He asked his friend to rest his feet on the platter and washed his feet. He then poured the water from the platter on his head as a sign of respect. He smeared కుచేల (Kuchela)’s body with pastes and perfumes as per the custom to honor a guest. Rukmini assisted her husband as he offered కుచేల (Kuchela) a number of refreshments.

The two friends sat down talking about their childhood and the time when they were sent to find firewood during a storm by their teacher. They had to spend the night in the rain and cold as they got lost in the forest while searching for firewood. They remembered how their teacher came searching for them and rescued them the next morning. కృష్ణ (Krishna) jokingly asked his friend if he brought any presents for him. కుచేల (Kuchela) felt ashamed to show the four handfuls of అటుకులు (atukulu) he brought with him as a gift. కృష్ణ (Krishna) ate a handful of అటుకులు (atukulu) saying they are his favorite. As he reached for second helping, Rukmini stopped him saying, “You bestowed enough riches on కుచేల (Kuchela) with what you already ate”.

కుచేల (Kuchela) spent the night at his friend's palace and left in the morning to get back to his family. He couldn’t bring himself to ask for help and was worried what his wife would say when he went home empty handed. He was happy and grateful to have met his friend and spent time with him.

As he approached his humble hut, he found a large palace with beautiful lush gardens, and parks. He was welcomed by musicians and singers. His wife welcomed him. She looked like a goddess. కుచేల (Kuchela) realized కృష్ణ (Krishna) had bestowed riches by merely eating a handful of అటుకులు (atukulu). He was grateful for his friend’s generosity and for saving him from his misfortune. This story is an example of an exemplary friendship that survived the odds of socioeconomic disparity and passage of time. The generosity of Krishna and his friendship with Sudama is remembered and celebrated on Akshaya Tritiya festival in several parts of India. It falls on the third tithi (lunar day) of the waxing phase of the moon (Shukla Paksha) during the Hindu month of Vaisakha.

When I hear కుచేల సంతానం (kuchela santhanam) sameta, I remember a co-worker of mine who has a total of 18 children. He has nine children of his own and he married a woman who has nine children. Their family picture spans an entire bridge of 20 feet long. His house is very large outfitted with an industrial size kitchen, dishwashers, and clothes washers. I hear their clothes washers continuously run 24 hours a day just like at a laundromat. His wife homeschooled their children. I can only imagine how busy their house could be.

More importantly, this sameta and the story reminds me of my friendships from my childhood and school years and how they survived the test of time.